Levels of faith in the Lord

Krishna tells Gopakumar I was waiting for you, for so long. And Guru Mahārāj said, Kṛṣṇa turns and tells, " How can you live without me for so long? But when you took this birth I knew in this life time, you would come to Me. I was restless with anticipation. So eager." And Gopakumar told that, really if you look at the Bṛhad Bhāgavatamṛtam of Sanātana Goswāmī prabhu, it is divided into two sections but they reach the same conclusion. It is a gradation, he is Bhakti siddhānta āchārya, showing what the different levels are. Sometimes Guru Mahārāj would say that in Upadeśāmṛta, Rupa Goswāmī left from Vaikuṇṭha to Mathurā in a single bound.

vaikuṇṭhāj janito varā
madhu-purī tatrāpi rāsotsavād
(Śrī Upadeśāmṛta: 9)

He is in that sense, I am just saying what Guru Maharāj said, he passed Ayodhyā, went straight from Vaikuṇṭha to Mathurā. Because why? Birth pastimes. No birth pastimes in Vaikuṇṭha. What did Guru Mahārāj say? No youngsters in Vaikuṇṭha. Because we heard about Kṛṣṇa pushing the two extra arms to play a joke with Vraja gopīs. But in relation to the Bālājī deity, some other types of stories we have heard. Vishnu trying to conceal two arms. But even in the Gopakumar story when he reaches from the sāligrām worshipping brāhmin to south India to Purī, to Indraloka, then to Brahmaloka, to Śivaloka and on to Vaikuṇṭha proper.

At one stage, when he enters Vaikuṇṭha when he sees Nārāyaṇ in all of His grandeur, majestic aspect of Divinity, aiśvarya, we are told, he is crying out " Hey, Gopāl!" and people go like " Sh.sh.. That is not how you address the Lord" He is ..you know, I think of the Thai word. But I don't even know if we can say that. Just to say he is from the country. Country folk. Country folk means Vṛndāvan. That is Aprākṛta līlā of Kṛṣṇa. Who appears to be the most unsophisticated, they are super sophisticated. Who appears to be least knowledgeable no more than anyone else. That is the peculiarity of Kṛṣṇa līlā. I am quoting Guru Mahārāj, referring to Vraja gopīs he said, 'Half civilised, all these words, silly, jungle girls. Here is (?) another word. Half civilised, silly, jungle girls. Posing that way. But when we hear their dialogue and their word play, we see how they are masters of Sanskṛit language, double meaning, ...and like the person I met here who personified and exemplified that was Śrīlā Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj.

His delightful repartee, word play that is amusing but profoundly; it has a profound aspect to it, ... spiritual implications. So they are telling him, he doesn't know, he doesn't dress properly, he doesn't address the Lord properly, he addresses " Hey, Gopāl " to Vaikuṇṭha Nārāyaṇ. But Nārāyaṇ, He wants to, He is ' Bhakta-vatsala", pleases His devotees, tells at one point to Lakshmi, " You become Rādhā and I will be Kṛṣṇa. That will make him happy". Just as we hear in the Hanumān story, approaching Dwarakā, Kṛṣṇa tells first to Satyabhāmā, " You become Sītā. I will become Rāma. That will please Hanuman." Satyabhāma- vamya bhāva not agreable. So He told to hide Rukmiṇī.

But here reversal. And we are told that is appreciated by Gopakumar up to a point. Close but no ..... So, it is not what he imagines. So, he is amused up to a point. There is something lacking in this portrayal. It doesn't have the sweetness of Vṛndāvan. So, then it is telling us it is something beyond even these forms apparently. There is some other sweet element there that was lacking even when They are in Vaikuṇṭha, giving a representation of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. And even after achieving Dwārakā, Nārada and Uddhava, they met (?) at Uddhava's house and Uddhava is saying in quiet tones like " Dwārakā is a wonderful place, don't get me wrong. But you are meant for another place. That I know." And it always culminates, each half with what comes from the mouth of Uddhava.

Because we know when Guru Mahārāj met a south Indian 'śruta dar'- those who can remember everything they heard -so, he knew the entire Bhāgavata Purāṇa — 18,000 slokās. So, he is like the book Bhāgavat. Like the Bhāgavat book, may be not the book Bhāgavat that comes out . So, Guru Mahārāj asked him, " With that level of familiarity with the Bhāgavatam, who in your estimation are the greatest devotees, the highest devotees of the Bhāgavatam?" He answered by saying, " Chatursan, the four Kumāras, sons of Brahmā, Sanaka, Sanātana, Sanandana and Sanat-kumāra, the four Kumāras". "And what do you think?" Guru Maharaj said, " They are in the lowest position". We are told,

tasyāravinda-nayanasya padāravinda-
kiñjalka-miśra-tulasī-makaranda-vāyuḥ
antar-gataḥ sva-vivareṇa cakāra teṣāṁ
saṅkṣobham akṣara-juṣām api citta-tanvoḥ
(Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam : 3.15.43)

All these are testimonials to conversion, you can say. Śukadeva is saying what happened to him —carried away, in the nirguṇa plane, but carried -dive deep. The deepest part of reality by hearing the pastimes of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa and the Vraja gopīs. But the Kumāras say, "miśra-tulasī-makaranda-vāyuḥ", the mixture of tulasi and the aroma of the lotus feet of the Lord, that entered their system and they underwent a inconceivable, wonderful mysterious transformation. But Guru Mahārāj is saying, " We worship them, but they are in this realm. They are in the lower position." And then with two slokās from the Bhāgavatam, Guru Mahārāj establishes his position. And it is in line with what is expressed by Bhakti Vinod Thākur. He talks about ' bhara- (?) and sāra-grahi'. 'Bhara' means burden. So, he is saying a certain amount śāstric knowledge- so many books, as if you are carrying so many books, carrying the weight of so many slokās, like beast of burden. And at the other end, the sāra-grāhi Vaiṣṇava, 'sār' meaning the essence, the cream, who grasps the essence, like what? The haṁsa, the paramahaṁsa. The swan given the mixture of milk and water can extract the milk and leave the water behind. The paramahaṁsa, in any situation, circumstance what to speak of interpreting the Bhāgavatam, extract the most essential point.

Bhāgavatam itself is being described as śruti-sāram —Sarva vedānta sāram yat. śruti -the cream of all the śrutis. And what does it mean —of what is to be heard. We hear so many things, ........ So much, what is it, like you can call it noise, but sensory input, that hearing sound and it is giving some impression to the heart about what is reality—what is the self, what is reality, what is the world, what is our place in it. But is it reliable sound?
Where does that sound come from? Where is it being broadcast? What is being carried with it? It is like sometimes I would talk to some of the devotees who are going to the school. They are talking about the different subjects they are taking. And I would say, you are safer taking the subjects that don't come with the world view. Like you could say, mathematics, it is just an example doesn't come with compacted or infused with a particular world view. But other things, they do. It is not an objective portrayal, a non-prejudiced representation of what the truth is, the reality or your prospect, potential or any such thing. It is infused with the a particular world view and you have to imbibe that and bow to that to get the stamp of approval.

We used to speak at classes sometimes and I remember one school Cal state Northridge(?). The professor, they invited us to give this talk and usually it was all fine. But I didn't realise in this talk, apparently I struck a sensitive nerve. It was a philosophy class and I said something about Māyāvād and Māyāvādis and so at the end the classes was finished. I would stand there and have some books and the students would come up there who are interested or whatever. And the professor, he was kind of pacing and hovering, you know. Because I said something about thinking, you know if you take humanism to ultimate conclusion, it is that 'You are God, you are the Absolute centre of everything, and everything's .......... will be judged upon whether or not it pleases you or displeases you.' That will be the criterion, that is the criterion of humanism, by extension human beings but more specifically you, welcome to the social network. But anyway, I said something along these lines. He is hovering and then he walks behind me, because I was talking. And he says, here he goes, I said, " It is the worst type of illusion". And so he goes, " When you realise you are God, there is no more illusion." And then he like ran and we go, " come back, come back". "When you realise you are God, there is no more illusion" ; " Come back, come back, come back......."
'so ' ham , aham brahmāsm' . That is what they mean to say 'I am that' —that great Brahman, that spirit that is pervading everything, I am that, you are that and I am that. If I am that, then 'Who are you?' Guru Mahārāj said, about Śaṅkara —Brahma satyaṁ jagan mithyā. If everything is illusion, then who are you talking to? Who have you come to preach to and convert to what? So anyway, Guru Mahārāj as the 'sāra-grāhi' Vaiṣṇava, extracting the essence , he told him with two slokās. That is the proof of 'sara-grahi' ness.

With two slokās he irrefutably establishes his position. First one, from the mouth of Kṛṣṇa. If someone is how you say, the follower of the Bhāgavat, then certainly they have to establish Kṛṣṇa's authority. Kṛṣṇa says,

na tathā me priyatama
ātma-yonir na śaṅkaraḥ
na ca saṅkarṣaṇo na śrīr
naivātmā ca yathā bhavān
(Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam : 11.14.15)

So there is no one more dear to me than Uddhava. priya uttama — the word, 'uttama' is that means here highest, dearest. No one more dear to me, not atma-bhut- Brahmā, born from the navel of Garbhodakaśāyī Viṣṇu, na śaṅkaraḥ— Śiva, na ca saṅkarṣaṇ means Saṅkarṣaṇ or Balarām— even His brother, śrī — Lakṣmī devī and then naivātmā ca yathā bhavān — I am not as dear to Myself as Uddhava is dear to Me. So in one slokā he has established the position of Uddhava. And that Uddhava is telling Gopakumar to dive deeper into reality. And then from the mouth of Uddhava- so this is Guru Mahārāj's strategy. Kṛṣṇa certifies Uddhava. Whom does Uddhava certify?

āsām aho caraṇa-reṇu-juṣām ahaṁ syāṁ
vṛndāvane kim api gulma-latauṣadhīnām
yā dustyajaṁ sva-janam ārya-pathaṁ ca hitvā
bhejur mukunda-padavīṁ śrutibhir vimṛgyām
(Śrīmad-Bhgavatam :10.47.61)

He says, remember Kṛṣṇa sent him as a messenger to deliver Kṛṣṇa's and Mathurā Dwarakā ..The Vraja gopīs are feeling intense separation from Him. What type?

aṭati yad bhavān ahni kānanaṁ
truṭi yugāyate tvām apaśyatām
kuṭila-kuntalaṁ śrī-mukhaṁ ca te
jaḍa udīkṣatāṁ pakṣma-kṛd dṛśām
( Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam : 10.31.15)

That these silly, half-civilised jungle girls, they are cursing Brahmā, the creator. Why? They are saying he doesn't know how to make eyes. We are looking at the inconceivable beauty of Kṛṣṇa. 'yaṁ śyāmasundaram acintya-guṇa-svarūpaṁ' ( Śrī Brahma-saṁhitā 5.38). And then our eyes blink. And for that moment we are deprived of seeing the beauty of Kṛṣṇa. So we may think, it is just a blink of an eye. What is revealing to us is the kind of an intensity that is in their heart. The teenage girls, they are cursing Brahmā for making eyes that blink. What we take away from that? How intense they are! How intense are the feelings in their hearts that they can say that? We are told rāsa-līlā Brahma-rātri —a night of Brahmā, that means four billion three hundred million years. And they are saying, Śrīla Gurudeva likes to quote this slokā, about śyāma-nām, from Chandīdās or Vidyāpati, it is in the 'Religion of the heart', that no amount of seeing Kṛṣṇa will ever satisfy you.

We may think , is that a good thing? That sounds disappointing. No, you will be left hankering for more, as Kṛṣṇa looks more and more inconceivably beautiful and charming. After four billion three hundred million years, they are saying that rāsa-līlā which lasts that long was like a blink of an eye. This is telling us the intensity of union. But as if that wasn't enough, then they say, but the blink of an eye separation from Kṛṣṇa is like a yuga — truṭi yugāyate — in the inverse, so it is even more intense. So, Kṛṣṇa, they are feeling that sort of separation and He is the cause of all of this too. That is something, sometimes hard to digest. That why does He do this? And even they are asking why does He do this? Sometimes He is asking Himself, why does He do this? But it is because bhāva-grāhī Janārdana , He is bhāva consumer, He is heart consumer. What the heart produces, that is His food.

patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalaṁ toyaṁ 
yo me bhaktyā prayacchati
(Bhagavad-gītā: 9.26)

It is a very simple thing that He is saying. When they are given with heart, and Guru Mahārāj said, He says, "I receive them with heart" — heart to heart transaction. So, not only does He want what is in their hearts, but we know what does the heart produce? Love, affection. Really the driving principle of existence. Pursuit of love and affection. But He knows that when love and affection are put under the most intense pressure of separation, that is when the heart yields the most superior substance. The most superior type of love. And that is the kind of love that He is most addicted to. And that can only be achieved by apparently separating Himself from them. But knowing that they are in this condition, He sends Uddhava as a messenger to give some message, so that they won't give up hope. To relieve the anguish of separation that is in their heart, he goes with the letter.

And we are told that when Uddhva arrives, and it is a significant point that Guru Mahārāj used in another context that because he is doing everything properly, he first visits Nanda and Yaśodā. Really, I mean, for many, but he got the special message for the Gopis but first must go to the house Nanda Bhavan, house of Nanda and Yaśodā. And while giving them the news about Kṛṣṇa, the Vraja gopīs see the empty chariot outside the house. And they start cursing it, it makes them angry. Viśvanāth Chakravartī Ṭhākur says, that is their response in seeing the chariot. They are thinking, because they remember when Akrūra came on the chariot and took Kṛṣṇa away from Vṛndāvan. The Vraja gopīs are not fans of Akrūra. His name is supposed to be not cruel but they interpreted as no one is more cruel. There is no one more cruel. It can also mean that. Anyway, the name sounds like it- 'Akrūra'. So, seeing this chariot, they are infuriated. And they think, it wasn't enough for Kaṁsa, to take away our lives. But now he sent his agent , because we are deprived of our lives, we are just carcasses, he sent his agent to collect our rotting carcasses to take them back to Mathurā for some sort of funeral pyre ceremony. They are very disturbed.

But when Uddhava comes down, they see, we are told Uddhava, he looks similar to Kṛṣṇa, and Kṛṣṇa gives His clothes to Uddhava. That famous verse that talks about honouring the remnants, you know, prasadam, it also mentions clothing. Uddhava gets clothing from Kṛṣṇa. So when they see him, he looks so much like Kṛṣṇa, that they are giddy. They become really happy. They are thinking, " Who is this person, just by looking at him you remember Kṛṣṇa?" And then they get to know him. He presents his letter, the letter from Kṛṣṇa, where Kṛṣṇa is saying, " You should all learn yoga and how to meditate on God, so when you are feeling like this you start doing yoga and meditating." And He is saying, "God is everywhere and in everything and you feel something." And this makes them angry.

Vraja gopis are not big on (?) yoga. I say that to tease all the yoga folks. They are telling, " We are not yogis, we are gopīs. We are not jñānīs, we are not yogīs. We are not karmīs, jñānīs or yogis, we are gopīs. You know who we are. You know our hearts also. So, why are you teasing us then, with all of these, that we should become yogīs and start learning to meditate, God is everywhere and in everything. Or jñānīs , we should study..". So, when Uddhava sees their reaction , he thinks, ' What sort of affection lies within the hearts of Vraja gopis.' Meanwhile, while he is doing that, Rādhārāṇī is lost in divine madness, which is represented as the ........gita, we know the big black bumble bee with the yellow rings and the pollen on its whiskers comes and she takes him to be either a messenger from Kṛṣṇa or Kṛṣṇa and she is in her .......loving anger, chastising this bumble bee like anything. That we can't speak about, we are not qualified. But Guru Mahārāj could speak about it. Bābājī Mahārāj and Bon Mahārāj said, " Oh! this is your speciality". They considered it to be a great honour to hear him.

But one we can say is given as ,
yad-anucarita-līlā-karṇa-pīyūṣa-vipruṭ-
 sakṛd-adana-vidhūta-dvandva-dharmā vinaṣṭāḥ
sapadi gṛha-kuṭumbaṁ dīnam utsṛjya dīnā
 bahava iha vihaṅgā bhikṣu-caryāṁ caranti
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam : 10.47.18)

where she is saying when you hear a drop of the nectar of the pastimes of Kṛṣṇa, that enters your ear and touches your heart, she is saying, 'You are finished, you are ruined'. It is all double entendre. What she is really saying is. ' Material existence is finished. This is that substance, upon touching the heart put an end to your material existence. It is consistent elsewhere with what the Vraja-gopīs say in the gopī-gītā,

tava kathāmṛtaṁ tapta-jīvanaṁ
kavibhir īḍitaṁ kalmaṣāpaham
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam : 10.31.9)

Gopīs are saying, the topics of you put an end to suffering of material existence. Because it puts all suffering is due to forgetfulness of Kṛṣṇa, by extension separation from Kṛṣṇa. They are not telling us something, that is not applicable to our situation. When you are separated from Kṛṣṇa, this is the life saving nectar. But that is so high, that is all Vraja- gopīs, they feel all these. But they are sending a message to us. Really, the root cause of all your problems is that you are separated from Kṛṣṇa. We, our hearts feel that sort of pain and it is the most edifying thing. If you can become aware of the root cause of your present position, then you can take the cure, which is hearing about Him, particularly from His agents. Anyway, they are in guise of chastising Kṛṣṇa, so many things are being revealed. Guru Mahārāj told, heart in this context, like a vault (?) impenetrable. But he said, like the thieves , they put a drop of this acid where the tumblers are and ...we see the doors swing open and the treasure is accessible. So a drop of this substance on the heart has miraculous transformative power, that the heart opens and releases the most valuable treasure. That is only partially what is expressed there.

So we can imagine the full expression of theirs..Still when Uddhava sees the type of dedication, love and affection devotion in the hearts of Vraja gops and Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, he is thinking really he wants the dust from their holy lotus feet. That means besides in a literal way, because the whole place is chinmaya, it is spiritually conscious. That has to be factored in-vaikuṇṭhera pṛthivy-ādi sakala cinmaya (CC Adi 5.53)
Even the soil of the spiritual world is chinmaya, spiritually conscious substance enriched with highest type of dedicating tendency. Then when aspiration like this is expressed, it has to be understood- what it means is -he is offering the highest aspect of himself to their least aspect as being superior. He says,

āsām aho caraṇa-reṇu-juṣām ahaṁ syāṁ
 vṛndāvane kim api gulma-latauṣadhīnām
yā dustyajaṁ sva-janam ārya-pathaṁ ca hitvā
 bhejur mukunda-padavīṁ śrutibhir vimṛgyām
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam : 10.47.61)

He is saying, he knows - Śrīla Visvanāth Chakravatī says - he knows better than to ask them. Because they won't give. So, he is couching his aspiration this way — I want a atomic presence in that plane. Mahāprabhu says,

ayi nanda-tanuja kiṅkaraṁ
patitaṁ māṁ viṣame bhavāmbudhau
kṛpayā tava pāda-paṅkaja-
sthita-dhūlī-sadṛśaṁ vicintaya
(Śikṣāṣṭakam: verse 5)

To be an atom at the lotus feet of ... that is the first realistic aspiration, not to ...envision oneself as a superservitor. That's a fantasy. As expressed by Mahāprabhu and here by Uddhava, an atomic presence in that plane. He said as a blade of grass or creeper. So when those Vraja gopīs and Rādhārāṇī and her group are moving there in the plane of service, some of the dust of their holy lotus feet will come upon my head, thereby consecrating my existence. So, ostensibly he was sent as a messenger and he does deliver a message. But Kṛṣṇa wanted him to observe the highest type of devotion. So when Nārada, as we were told, from Indraloka to Brahmaloka, Śivaloka to Vaikuṇṭha, and also Dwāraka, from Śiva to Prahlād, to Hanumān to the Pāṇḍavas .... The Pāṇḍavas point him towards the Yādavas and the assembly of Yādavas, where they were all waiting. And in that assembly, the ..... assembly and everyday Kṛṣṇa comes. But today He is late. Their eyes are riveted to the doorway where Kṛṣṇa will walk through.

We have some experience of that in this world too. Everyone is waiting. Sometimes, Kṛṣṇa, naṭavara, rendered as dramatic actor, but means like movie star also, that type of magnetism, where people perceive their every movement is perfect and they always have the best smile. They dress beautifully, their entourage, people are waiting for them. So, if that can be experienced here, so what to speak of the door through which Kṛṣṇa is going to enter. Someone else: what is mediation? If you can look at the door, you can look at the doorway and anticipate Kṛṣṇa is coming through the door, that is a very good meditation. So, their attention is riveted like that. And Naradā is praising them, they are like, " Yeah, yeah, right, right". They are saying, " Look, we are all here right? Who is on the other side of the door where Kṛṣṇa is? Uddhava. So, you are prasing Yādavas. But Uddhava is not here. He is on the other side of that door. We are over here," In that way, it is bringing us to the point of Uddhava — the Bṛhad Bhāgavatāmṛtam. Then this expression comes from him establishing the supremacy of Rādhārāṇī and the Vraja gopīs.
Then what is part two? Another type but similar story with Gopakumar called the Goloka Mahātmya, culminates in the same verse from the lips of Uddhava, that expression. Then it goes on how what the blades of grass, then the trees, the birds, the gradation of all the servitors in Goloka again culminating and ultimately in the Rādhā dāsyam — ............. Sanātana Goswāmī said in the beginning of the book. Rādhā dāsyam - the service of the Holy lotus feet of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. So in two slokas Guru Mahārāj established Vraja gopis and their leader Rādhārāṇī as the highest devotees.

But that Gopakumar, Uddhava told him, ' You are meant for another place, that plane; whereas Guru Mahārāj told everything is made of sugar or sweetness. We know on holidays they make sweets in the shape of trees or flowers and other things. The whole thing is sweet. And that is what he is telling us. Goloka Vṛndāvan, that plane is permeated by madhura- rasa, of which other rasas are satellites or clients.That is permeated by sweetness. But interestingly, when Gopakumar arrives, his first day so to speak in the spiritual world, he is searching for the house of Nanda Maharaj. And when he asks people, they are like, " Ah.....don't say that." They are ignoring him, it seems to be evoking some sort of angry disposition from them. Some are statue-like unmoving, unresponsive. He is thinking having just been through all the different worlds possible that either one of two things - these are most miserable people that I ever met, I ever seen. I have never seen this level of misery expressed by anyone or they are experiencing something internally that is so extraordinary but yet it has been expressed outwardly in this way. And when he comes to realise it is just a typical day in Vṛndāvan and what the calamity is that Kṛṣṇa has gone to the forest with Balarām and the cowherd boys herding the cows.

They are feeling separation from Kṛṣṇa. We were told when he gets ready to go and leave home, Mother Yaśodā - it happens so many times that she lets Him go, calls Him, lets Him go, grabs Him and brings Him back, it keeps happening till finally somehow He is able to make it away from Nanda Bhavan into the depths of Vṛndāvan forest.

bāhye viṣa-jvālā haya,
 bhitare ānanda-maya,
kṛṣṇa-premāra adbhuta carita
(Śrī Chaitanya-caritāmṛta Madhya 2.50)

Externally it appears as though they are suffering, like they have been snake bitten, poisoned. Internally they are relishing some extraordinary peculiar sweetness, nectarine substance. But he sees not unlike those Yādavas looking in that doorway, they are all, there is a dust cloud approaching and they are looking that way. And gradually, what that dust cloud is - it is go raja - the dust from the hooves of the cows. And Gurudevā was joking in Govardhan. The devotees were coughing severely there because of the dust. He said, "But you were praying for this dust, now it has come." Everyone is going ....He said, "But you prayed." But anyway, we are told that as the cloud of dust is moving toward and then the sound of the hooves of all the cows. And then gradually they start hearing the flutes of Kṛṣṇa and other cowherd boys and other music and other songs. And then some shape start to emerge and then you see Kṛṣṇa and Balarām and they are all singing and dancing. And Krishna is covered with that dust and his hair is messed up with all the cow-herding. Guru Mahāhāj says, He looks so beautiful then, he described it as agreeable negligence. Because after hard day of herding cows in the Vṛndāvan forest, and as they were coming, then you start seeing the shapes and everyone is coming back to life from the death like stage of separation they had been experiencing.

And then Kṛṣṇa sees Gopakumar. And Kṛṣṇa starts running, Gopakumar starts running and they run and they find each other, meet each other and then they embrace. Right? That's when Kṛṣṇa says, " How could you live without Me for so long? " And then Kṛṣṇa faints. He is so overwhelmed. Then so first, it is his first day, you can say just for matter of speaking in the spiritual world. Now everything is going great, it is perfect, and now Kṛṣṇa faints. And everyone is angry at him. They are thinking, " Who is this? May be he is some sort of demon in disguise". They are familiar, ...... familiar with Kṛṣṇa's pastimes. But Balarām knows everything. It is an understatement. Gradually, Kṛṣṇa comes back to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. He sees Gopakumar and expresses heart's love and affection and they go to Nanda Bhavan for bathing and dinner. We are told that meal.. and his group is the Rādhārāṇī's family line although he is cowherd boy. And he is so happy to be there. He sees Nanda Maharāj, Kṛṣṇa, Balarām and Rādhārāṇī and the Vraja gopīs, such a happy scene —Mother Yaśodā , even Chandrāvalī's group is there.

Now they are staring to feed Kṛṣṇa. Rādhārāṇī gives one of her speciality, particular type of laḍḍu and Kṛṣṇa takes that and He tastes, He is smiling , tastes that and He goes " ooooh, so bitter. May be your family likes this kind of thing". He tosses that over to Gopakumar. And Mother Yaśodā, she is looking at Rādhārāṇī, giving Her a look. Chandrāvalī's group— they are all happy. And Gopakumar he takes that laḍḍu tossed over by Kṛṣṇa and he tastes that and that's the most wonderful thing, he has ever tasted in all time and space and all experience. Kṛṣṇa is smiling— He was just joking. Then Rādhārāṇī and Mother Yaśodā , they were all happy. And Chandrāvalī's group, they are sad.
So, Guru Mahārāj told, when we had made " Search for Śrī Kṛṣṇa Reality the Beautiful", " Śri Guru and His Grace", " Golden Volcano of Divine Love" , it was time to make another book. Guru Mahārāj said, " In the first book, you are showing how the devotees are searching for Kṛṣṇa, Reality the Beautiful". Incidentally, it culminates with Kṛṣṇa as Mahāprabhu, searching for Śrī Kṛṣṇa. There it's structured; it's thematic. And with Guru Mahārāj's slokā, he said the all conquering conclusion, ātma-siddha-sāvalīla-pūrṇa-saukya-lakṣaṇaṁ (Prema-dhāma-deva-stotram: verse 66)

He said, " So, we showed that in the first book. Now we shall show that as the devotees are searching for Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa is also searching for His devotees." He said, "But it is a loving search. A loving search. The Lord's Loving search for His lost servant." It is a loving search for the lost servant. And that's why it begins with the tale of Gopakumar, which is perfectly presented by Sanātana Goswāmī prabhu, how the gradations of what "Dive deep into Reality" means in its highest expression.

Is there some question?

Devotee: May be not related to the subject.

Goswāmī Mahārāj: All right. Somehow I think it will be. There is only one thing, but it is in variegated position.

vadanti tat tattva-vidas
tattvaṁ yaj jñānam advayam
brahmeti paramātmeti
bhagavān iti śabdyate vedanti tat
(Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam : 1.2.11).

As I told, Einstein's mistress told him, " You should carry a notebook." She noticed that he didn't like carrying anything around. She said, " You should carry a notebook and put all your ideas in there". And he said, " I don't need a notebook. I have only one idea. And I am always thinking about that one idea - the theory of everything."

Yasmin vijñāte sarvam evaṁ vijñātaṁ bhavati
(Muṇḍaka Upaniṣad 1.3).

The Upaniṣads say, "Try to know the one thing, upon knowing which everything is known. Try to acquire the one thing, upon acquiring everything is got." That is samādhi. In Bhagavd-gītā,

yaṁ labdhvā cāparaṁ lābhaṁ manyate nādhikaṁ tataḥ
( Bhagavd-gītā : 6. 22)

It is saying, " When you have got that, I have got everything. There is nothing more than this."
rūpaṁ dṛśāṁ dṛśimatām akhilārtha-lābhaṁ. Rukmiṇī says the same thing. " When I have got You, I have got everything." śrutvā guṇān bhuvana-sundara śṛṇvatāṁ te (Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam: 10.52.37). "When I heard about You, the impression I have got, the ... heart, You are the most beautiful thing in the world", beyond the world, like bhuvana sundar. śṛṇvatāṁ . And then she said, "Then I understood why there is hearing." She is getting to the point, really this is what it is meant for—to hear about You. And when through hearing, the conception of the form of Your beauty came to me, then I understood why there is such a thing as sight or seeing." I liked to look at the etymology of words and definitions. I remind everyone although I am ostensibly a native English speaker, I consult an English dictionary no less than ten times a day looking at words that some I know generally what they mean, I am looking to see am I using them accurately, precisely. You know Mark Twain, of Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer fame, says the difference between an acceptable word and a precise word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. So it is in our interest whatever words, to look at words and use them precisely. So when it comes to aesthetics, the nearest Russian speaker what is it in Russian? ( Devotee giving the word in Russian) there you go..almost identical.

But what it says, I mean .. we say beauty, the study of beauty, the culture of beauty. Yes, but the word is saying, its original meaning was —what is perceived by the senses. It means sense perception actually. So, the case I am making is that the ultimate goal or object of sense perception is the perception of Reality, the beautiful of the ultimate beauty, ultimate sound, the ultimate taste, the most beautiful sound, the beautiful taste. That is what is aesthetic, is that culture. And that's what she is saying. Now you understand it is not just in our spare time we are looking for beautiful things or we like to hear beautiful sounds or touch something that is beautiful and soft or taste something that is extraordinary. This is what is driving us, it is what is driving our existence. Kṛṣṇa is all of those things, that means akhila-rasāmṛta-mūrtiḥ —all of that rolled into one. Incomparably beautiful, the sound of the Name is incomparably beautiful, the sound of the flute, the taste, touch, form, the beauty of the form and then the movement of the form — all of these things. That is why we have senses.

Of course, there is an option. Reign in hell or serve in heaven. The old Miltonian satanic option. But She is saying very beautifully in her [letter]. This is the opposite of the ransom note. Normally, when there is kidnapping, the kidnapper sends a note to someone saying, " We got her. Send this money right now by the end of the day". But this is beautiful, because Rukmiṇī is writing a note to Kṛṣṇa inviting Him to kidnap Her. So, she is saying, " I am inextricably surrounded by karmic circumstances. But actually, I am not meant for karma. I am meant for You. Come and take what is Yours, namely Me". As Guru Mahārāj said, it is not just Rukmiṇī is saying, that everything is meant for Kṛṣṇa ...including us. So she is saying, " I am surrounded by this karmic circumstances. Really I am meant for you; Come and rescue me. Kidnap Me". It is like being kidnapped by Kṛṣṇa conception. So, she is saying, this is what this all for. This is what aesthetic culture is. So, what is that question that may or may not be relevant?

Devotee: I will try to improvise. The story of Gopakumar is a nitya-līlā. Right?

Goswāmi Mahārāj: Yes.

And shall we consider Gopakumar as jiva- soul or one of the manifestation of Kṛṣṇa Himself ?

Goswami Mahārāj: We can say this much. Because this is being presented for our edification, so we can take it that he represents our potential, and our position. Right? But with regard to nitya-līlā , nitya-baddha, nitya-siddha, so many considerations. Śrīla Prabhupāda, he was invited to attend a conference in Japan, actually, before he went to America. It is pretty interesting and he was going to attend and he was thinking, "But what would be right for like the Asian mind?" And so he thought this one chapter, in the tenth cānto of Bhāgavatam, which in his book is called the Autumn chapter. I forget the number. It is all the descriptions of autumn, like the clouds, the lightning and the clouds. It appears on the surface, you know, in conventional devotee jargon as impersonal. It is clouds, the moonshine, the moon covered by the clouds, shining through the clouds, lightning, rain and you know, it is similar to some stereotypical Asian art imagery. So he took this and he gave purports. I mean there are Āchāryas purports to those slokās and he gave this beautiful commentary. In one place he addresses the issue of nitya- baddha and nitya-siddha. And he gives this example.

When the sky is cloudy, you can distinguish between the clouded portion of the sky and the unclouded portion. We see there are the clouds here, like I saw today when I went for a walk. Here are the clouds, went down the road sun was shining and was not cloudy. It is a different situation. So, when a soul is under the influence of illusion, described as nitya-baddha, eternally conditioned, you can distinguish eternally conditioned soul and eternally liberated soul. Just like that sky when you remove the clouds from the sky, you can't distinguish between that part of the sky which was once covered and the part which was never covered. So, similarly, when the clouds of ignorance are removed from the jiva- soul, you can no longer distinguish between the soul which was once conditioned and eternally liberated. That said, someone like Viśvanāth Chakravartī Ṭhākur, he can give an analysis of gopīs who are responding to the flute call of Kṛṣṇa and these(gopīs) have recently achieved this position .. He can do that, Viśvanāth Chakravartī Ṭhākur can do this type analysis. Once when I was asking Guru Mahārāj some questions a little bit like this, similar to this, he said, " Be careful, you are going to break your head". He folded his palms and said, " We want the grace of these souls, so we should be careful in our analysis about who is like this, who is like that." Sometimes something is said ..

Again with folded palms, bowed head, rarely taṭasthā vichāra, impartial analysis, he said, " But we don't ever want to even remotely think offensively of them. Because we want to be in a position to receive their grace." So I kind of jumped back, being cautioned by him. So he said, not to..what you said is like this but just for the sake of a general discussion, he is saying, " Analysis is a function of intelligence. But analysis creates doubts and doubts disturb faith and faith is our only access to this." It is not data transfer, information, jñāna even. But faith, śraddhā mayoyam loka. I will give you another example. In one place, Viśvanāth Chakravartī Ṭhākur is saying — he makes some comparison about Devakī and Yaśodā. He is saying, " Devakī — Kṛṣṇa is born to her. But then we can say, Kṛṣṇa Mathurā. Guru Mahārāj said, it is like Baladev, in terms of fifty, fifty five, sixty, sixty two, sixty four qualities analysis of Rupa Goswāmī. So, that Mathura Kṛṣṇa is not Nanda- nandan, Devakī- nandan although Sarasvatī Thākur says in another place, Devakī is another name of Yaśodā.

But Yaśoda means also yaśa, yaśasā - fame'. She is making others renowned. So Devakī , she is Kṛṣṇa's mother in Mathurā. As a baby we can say He gets to suck her breast milk and then He is whisked away to Gokula. But

yaśodā vā mahā-bhāgā
papau yasyāḥ stanaṁ hariḥ
(Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam : 10.8.46)

When we praise Nanda Mahārāj, what did Nanda Mahārāj do? He has got Param-Brahma crawling in all fours in his courtyard. But that Paraṁ brahma, yaśodā vā mahā-bhāgā — her fortune is even greater. That Paraṁ brahma is crawling on her, not just in the courtyard, on her divine form, sitting on her lap and sucking her breast milk. He is saying, she is even more fortunate if it could be said and only they can say in that way, by first praising Nanda Mahārāj. He won't mind if we say Yaśoda is even more fortunate. Nanda Mahārāj may be the first one to give Jay to that. But even more fortunate ...... So, Viśvanāth is saying, so you can understand something here between the comparative position of Yaśoda and Devakī. And then he stops: " I can't say any more about this." He says it is impossible to say any more about this. As if to say to us, you are going to break your head. A little something came out of particular necessity at that time and that's enough. We want to receive the grace of these exalted souls. When Guru Mahārāj heard that some devotees hearing him sometimes engage in some sort of you know, rasa-viśeṣa, rasa-vichāra analysis and then because the boys promoting the supremacy of the madhura-rasa —is the ādi-rasa, mukya-rasa, the original, the principal —they were decrying the others— vātsalya, śakhya etc. The news came back to Guru Mahārāj and it was being done in his name.

He said, "My heart is mortified to hear these things. What do they think this is?" And then he said, " Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Her first duty upon waking every morning is to go to Nanda Bhavan, knock on the door and fall at the feet of Mother Yaśoda, thinking without Mother Yaśoda, there is no Kṛṣṇa. So, the Supreme highest of madhura- rasa, what she is doing? She is bowing to the feet of Ma Yaśoda every morning. So it is told, "..... rasa haya sei sarva uttam. " Whatever one is experiencing, what could be better than this? An intimate loving relationship with the infinite Supreme Lord Rasa-rāja Kṛṣṇa. But that's given in Rāmānanda samvad. But the next line says taṭasthā vichara — by an impartial analysis one would conclude that madhura- rasa is the sweetest and also it includes the sentiments of all the others as dāsya included śānta, śakhya includes śānta and dāsya, vātsalya includes śānta, dāsya, śakhya, madhura- rasa includes all of them—so, mukhya- rasa, ādi- rasa, the principal.

But the same Raghupati Upādyāya, who at the behest of Mahāprabhu having thus glorified Nanda Mahārāj — " aham iha nandaṁ vande yasyālinde paraṁ brahma," (Chaitanya Charitāmṛta, Madhya 19.96).
Mahāprabhu is saying, " Any more you can say than that?" Then he says, "kaṁ prati kathayitum īśe samprati ko vā pratītim āyātu". (Chaitanya Charitāmṛta, Madhya 19.98). That's the verse. And he is saying about the Vraja -gopīs— "gopa-vadhūṭī-viṭaṁ brahma" Yes, that one, that's it — kaṁ prati kathayitum īśe . He is saying, "Who can I tell? If you could find someone qualified, would they believe me?" First notice how we were talking about Rupa Goswāmī leaping from Vaikuṇṭha to Mathurā. Raghupati Upādyāya is saying " What is described in Mahābhārata, other Vedic literature and all of that, what does he say? He immediately goes from there and like how to deal with the miseries of material existence, that is bhava-bhītāḥ, those who are fearful about mortality, how to deal, he leaps from there to the courtyard of Nanda Mahārāj. He is saying, " Look at this. Paraṁ- Brahma crawling in his courtyard. What did he do?" Whatever these other books are talking about, ok, but what did he do? That Paraṁ- Brahma they are telling you how to go to Him, he has got Paraṁ- Brahma crawling in his courtyard. And then as I told, Yaśoda, He is crawling on Yaśoda. So, Mahaprabhu .....is saying, " Tell me more. Is there more? Dive deep into reality. Go deeper". He is saying, "There is more. Who is qualified to hear it? And if I told it, no one will believe me. That's why I don't say because no one will believe it. What is that? That Paraṁ- Brahma when He goes from kumāra to kiśora, when He becomes gopa- kiśora, and He is the nava- yauvana, teenager, that He , now what is He doing? He is chasing in the kuñja of Vṛndāvan, the Vraja gopīs.

The Paraṁ- Brahma is chasing after the Vraja gopī girls. Who can I tell this to? And who will believe it? This is inconceivable. And Guru Mahārāj said in his article for Gaudiya Maṭh publication, that the implication is that, " But now that You have come, you know Gaura Hari, Gaurāṅga Mahāprabhu, everyone will be told and they will believe it. You will distribute. This which was inaccessible, (accessible) only for the highest section of liberated souls and even within that group limited, now you are going to distribute that, that highest thing that is inconceivable and unbelievable. By your grace it will be distributed to everyone. Guru Mahārāj said that is the implication what was being said by Raghupati Upādyāya. But then Mahāprabhu said, "Then You tell me what in your opinion is the Supreme form of the Lord, Supreme abode of the Lord, the supreme age of the Lord and the supreme rasa." Mahāprabhu is asking him to say that. This is not curiosity. Mahāprabhu descended that this would be broadcast. But it only can be fully appreciated if the other things are meaningful.

To think upon hearing this conclusion to dismiss all the other things is inappropriate and offensive and disqualifying. It is by appreciating them — the gradation, that one could come to appreciate what would be the culmination of all of that. But not only it is the culmination, it is actually the source, less we think it is some sort of cumulative thing —that is one way of looking at it. But really Viśvanāth Chakravartī Ṭhākur is telling us, janmādy asya yataḥ —it is the source of all of these others. So, in any way you look at this, you have to value what is emanated from there also. Vātsalya, śakhya, dāsya, śānta, they emanate from madhura- rasa as well. So to appreciate madhura-rasa, there must be appreciation for all of them. But it is Mahāprabhu who is asking him this. And in a sense causing these things to be spoken. He wants it to be broadcast. He is asking, " Tell me these four things, What is Supreme form of the Lord? " — śyāmam eva paraṁ rūpaṁ (Chaitanya Charitāmṛta, Madhya 19.101)—Śyamasundara. Brahma- saṁhitā: —yaṁ śyāma sundaram achintya-guṇa svarūpaṁ.
purī madhu-purī varā (Chaitanya Charitāmṛta, Madhya 19.102) Mathurā means madhu-purī, but .. it says madhu-purī, saying, you know, the sweet city, this city of sweetness, the domain of sweetness. That means by extension, Mathurā, Vṛndāvan, Govardhan, Rādhā-kuṇḍa.

Madhu, back to Mathurā , purī madhu-purī varā. "kaiśorakaṁ" — kiśora— that is the Supreme age of Kṛṣṇa. As the kumara ..., He is playing with Nanda and Yaśoda in their house as Nada-kumar, then with the cowherd boys, ' kiśora ' with the Vraja-gopīs. It is culmination, saying, His madhura-rasa pastimes, it is the ultimate expression of the ultimate sweetness and beauty. Mukhya-rasa, ādya eva paro rasaḥ. Madhura- rasa that is the supreme rasa. Mahāprabhu came to broadcast these things to the world.

yadi gaura na ha'te tabe ki haita
kemane dharitam de
rādhāra mahimā prema- rasa- sīmā
jagata janata ke ?
( Śrīla Vāsudeva Ghoṣa)
Guru Mahārāj says, Śyāma-līlā avalambam. It is interesting. Śyāma-līlā means madura-rasa. He is saying, it is 'avalambam'. It is all dependent upon Her. Then we can understand by extension everything is dependent upon Her. The whole spiritual devotional world is dependent upon her. So, Mahāprabhu descended to this world to Radhā- mahimā to preach the greatness of Śrīmatī Rādārāṇī and prema rasā sīmā to broadcast the incomparable .......................
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