Pull of the Heart | Sriman Mahaprabhu's Sannyas-lila

Goswāmī Mahārāj: So, today is makara-saṅkrānti. Means sannyās-līlā, smaraṇa of Mahāprabhu. And, weṛe going to speak about that. But, you said you had something relevant... yeah.

Devotee: Relevant question. Maybe Mahārāj finds it irrelevant, just reject it.

Goswāmī Mahārāj: Hare Kṛṣṇa.

Devotee: Why seeing Mahāprabhu in sannyās-veṣ is as heart breaking as seeing Kṛṣṇa in dwārakā-veṣ? And, why being the followers of Mahāprabhu's teachings, the teachings that were predominantly given by Him after taking sannyās, we still worship Deities of Nimāi Paṇḍit, and take the day when He took sannyās, as one of the saddest?

Goswāmī Mahārāj: Alright, with... I think in the course of the discussion we'll get to that. And... but, on this point, we can say with mixed emotions, because of Mahāprabhu's decision to take sannyās, it's to rescue the fallen souls. Then, we can say —well, then that should be a cause for celebration. But, when we factor in the love of His devotees, and how happy they are in their pastimes —that He would have to give that up. That's where the heartbreak comes. So... but, then we have to consider the pastimes of Mahāprabhu, as a whole.

So, we're told, “48 years from His appearance, to His leaving the world.” And, He takes sannyās at the age of 24. And, just as a sidebar about today being makara-saṅkrānti. What is Makara in... what is it?.. Capricorn in the western... Anyway... but, makara is a mythical creature in the Bhāgavatam, that looks somewhere between, shall we say, a dolphin, an alligator, and... Who has the longest mouth, the crocodile or the alli... with the... anyway, like that. It's a mythical, beautiful looking creature. But... anyway, this time of year means; it's when the northern course of the Sun, or the Earth in relation to the Sun.

So, in that sense, it means like, new beginning. At the end of one period, the beginning of another. And, that's a simple way of expressing some comparison. But, it's there. So, the 20... first 24 years have finished. Now, He will take sannyās, and into the last 24 years. Which is called the śeṣ-līlā, or the final pastimes, divided into two sections. Madhya-līlā —for the first six years or so. And, then the antya-līlā —for the last 12 to eighteen. So... but, these first 24 are very significant and sweet. And, they're the primary subject matter of Śrī Chaitanya-bhāgavat. As, Guru Mahārāj said once in comparison —just an inoffensive— some comparison, when he was saying, “ Chaitanya-bhāgavat is rāsa without ontology.”

What they say, “Why?..” Chaitanya-bhāgavat —there's a handful of Sanskrit verses in the entire work. Really. We're surprised, in retrospect, to look and see... oh, there's a handful of Sanskrit verses. The rest... so, he's saying, “It's rāsa without ontology.” Chaitanya-charitāmṛta is rāsa with ontology. There's a thousand Sanskrit verses. And, a very... of great complexity, and of a comprehensive nature. And, so many things are expressed there with Sanskrit. And, Kavirāj Goswāmī deals with that —about people who might complain. And say, “Why is this book is so full of Sanskrit?” And, he's saying, “First of all...” [laughing] I mean, it's interesting that he deals with it. But, he says, “First of all, there is not that much Sanskrit in it.” It might be a lot for some.

But, he's saying... and... but... “The great —the Bhāgavatam is all Sanskrit, the commentaries are Sanskrit. And, this is the way it's expressed.” And, he's saying, “And, for the most part, I put in vernacular Bengali, so, that it will be easily accessible to everyone.” And, that's true. We can even say, “Well, we're not native Bengali speakers, but it's been translated out, and so forth.” But, those verses, they're not so easy to translate, rādhā kṛṣṇa-praṇaya-vikṛtir hlādinī śaktir asmād (Cc: Adi-līlā, 1.5.1). How, Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa —they're originally one. then they separate into two— they become one again. So, Svarūp Dāmodar, as he's saying, “What, gaura-līlā is first. They are one, and then, they become two as Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. And, then again...” Or gaur... the other... the inverse?..

Is like, spring, summer, winter, fall?.. I mean fall, winter... spring, summer, fall, winter. How, does this cycle go? Or are they running in parallel, as, Viśvanāth Cakravartī Ṭhākur suggests. He even says, “The pastimes of union and separation are running in parallel.” [chuckling] So, these... and Gurudev said once, the word... rādhā kṛṣṇa-praṇaya-vikṛtir, which we can say, generally means... like 'transformation.' He said, “I've been thinking about this word for 40 years.” That's what his Divine Grace Śrīla Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj said. “I've been thinking about this word for 40 years.” So, that's Chaitanya-charitāmṛtam, but Chaitanya-bhāgavat —rāsa without ontology. It's not ontologically heavy.

And, there the early pastimes of Mahāprabhu. And, as Nimāi Paṇḍit, the scholar. Even, we can say, pastimes of scholarly arrogance, at times, appearing that way. [laughing] But, so much so that was Gadāhar Paṇḍit is sometimes avoiding Him. But, how sweet is that? Gadāhar Paṇḍit is Rādhārāṇī, and, here's Kṛṣṇa as Nimaī Paṇḍit. And, She has to like... trying to avoid Him in the street. Why? Because, He'll say, “Oh, Gadāhar come here, I want to speak to you.” And, then He'll engage in some sort of philosophical discussion. And, ask a question —have Gadāhar answer it— then defeat that. And, fluster and frustrate Gadāhar Paṇḍit. Then, who's reconsidering that position that was just defeated —and, another one reasserting, “Alright I'll embrace that position.” — then He'll do the opposite, defeat that position. Leaving Gadāhar Paṇḍit utterly frustrated.

But, it like, He's teasing His favorite, His beloved. And, it's giving some joy. It's actually giving joy to Gadāhar Paṇḍit. But, theses kinds of things are there. But, what does Gadāhar Paṇḍit say, “Nimaī Paṇḍit is so perfect in every way, and so sweet, and so extraordinarily beautiful —has one flaw. He's not a devotee of Kṛṣṇa.” [laughing] And, if you realize that, I mean the humor in that, in a sense, is that... here Rādhārāṇī is Gadāhar Paṇḍit. Say... Why did Kṛṣṇa descend as Mahāprabhu? But, to experience bhakta-bhāv —culminating in rādhā-bhāv. So, it's as if to say, like, “You're playing in this way as this arrogant scholar, and you have these other pastimes. But when are you going to start showing your devotional colors, and your devotional mood? They, the devotees, are eager for that.”

And say, “How sweet is this?” These are all Kṛṣṇa's most intimate devotees. And, they're... they have restless anticipation. When is Kṛṣṇa going to start experiencing devotion? They can't wait, and it's... what's the word?.. they're just so... you know... restless or eager in anticipation of that. But, He will also show how do you get devotion. See, if He just came and had devotion, that... that wouldn't be a good example [laughing] for others. Because, then they would think, “I am like that, also. I was born that way.” [laughing]

I don't know why I do that. I just offended 1.3 billion people. But... [laughing] And, I'm sure, a few other will be added by the end of the talk. But, that's what I'm saying. So, what does he show? You get devotion, through the association of devotees. Even in His case. So, He must show for sometime —He's not a devotee. They're praying for that time, when He will become a devotee. When He will show devotion. And then we hear, He goes to Gayā, and ostensibly, to do the śrāddha ceremony for His departed father. But, when He returns, He's in gopī-bhāv.

And, some people think He's lost His mind. Now, He's always singing the praises of the gopīs. So... we don't... We see... immediately going for the highest, like, gopī-bhāv. He comes back... not in, like... a little bit of it. —He's come back in full blown gopī-bhāv. So much so, that He's speaking against Kṛṣṇa. [laughing] ... That's a heavy conversion. So, who did you convert into someone who's, like, in opposition to Kṛṣṇa? Kṛṣṇa! That's pretty heavy. Now, you've got Kṛṣṇa blaspheming Kṛṣṇa. [laughing] But, not in any normal way that one might think. What is He saying? He's in mān, which means, a type of loving anger expressed by Rādhārāṇī and the vraja-gopīs towards Kṛsna.

Which is symptomatic of, how much they are madly in love with Kṛṣṇa. And, only want to hear about Kṛṣṇa, only want to talk about Kṛṣṇa, cannot live without Kṛṣṇa. So, even the slightest thing, real or perceived slight, can set them off into these... and... you know... anger expressions. So, He's saying, “Kṛṣṇa.” He's chanting “Gopī, gopī.” He's glorifying the gopīs. And, some of the students, they object to this. They're thinking, 'Why are you chanting gopī, gopī, gopī?” You can chant the name of Kṛṣṇa, that would be good.” What is He's saying, “Kṛṣṇa, He's a despicable man.” [laughing] They're going, “Oh, you can't say that.” [laughing] “I just did.”

“The gopīs, they're so great. But, this Kṛṣṇa, He's causing them so much suffering, and heartbreak, and...” And, at one point, we hear, He's chasing one of His students. He's going to punish him. So, they think, Nimaī Paṇḍit's running after someone, a brāhmaṇ, to punish him for suggesting, that He chant kṛṣṇa-nām. [laughing] But, the devotees, when they see, they think, “Did you hear the good news?” “And what is that?” “Nimaī Paṇḍit's become a devotee.” “No.” “Yes!” “He, He, really?” “Yes, now He's a devotee. He's always lost in gopī-bhāv.” And... of course... then, the full spectral range of appreciation is there.

He's madly taking the name of Kṛṣṇa, exhibiting ecstatic symptoms, they're having all night kīrtan. Those students could not understand His gopī-bhāv —that mān, that loving anger that betrays the depths of kṛṣṇa-prem. It can only be expressed in the deepest plane. But, the devotees can recognize this. He... and then what does he do? Very humbly, He approaches them and says, “By your grace...” Because they're so happy to see He's now a devotee of Kṛṣṇa. He's saying, “By your grace, I got devotion. By the grace of all you —devotees, I take the dust from your feet upon my head for giving me this greatest gift.” So, He's attributing, and it must be... He's attributing this new found devotion to Kṛṣṇa, as being the mercy of all of the Vaiṣṇavas.

That is perfect, and that is the way it must be. But, we... so we see, in the pastimes before taking sannyās, sometimes, momentarily —almost like temporary insanity —momentary displays of Divinity. Varāha-avatār, His... the mahā-prakāś... was sitting on the siṁhasan for what... 21, 22, 23 hours, giving —liberally distributing kṛṣṇa-prem to everyone. That kholā-vecā Śrīdhar comes, whom He had robbed... His pastime was just cheating him. The man... he's barely making a living selling plantain leaves, plantain cup, and plantain leaf-plates.

And, Nimaī Paṇḍit's always coming by... And remember, half of what he gets, he gives towards gaṅgā-pūjā, and the other half, he's somehow surviving. He has a metal water pot that's been patched, like, 20 times. It's an old battered, rusted, hard thing. He has no... nothing. And, Mahāprabhu always come to him and go, “I like your leaf-cups and your leaf-plates. How much are they?” And, He's saying, “Oh, well this is what I have...” “Some discount you could give.” “No, I mean... I've... this is the rock bottom price...” “Other people are selling for cheaper...” “Then buy from them...” “No, I want to buy from you...” [laughing] “Half off, give me half off.” “No, that's absurd —half off.” “Half off, and we have a deal. Deal? Do we have a deal? Half off.”

And, he's charmed by the beauty of Nimaī Paṇḍit and the sweetness of His ways. And, he's, “Alright, for you.” Then, when that... He's showing the mahā-prakāś, and that Śrīdhar comes, and he's saying, [slapping of hands] “I'll give you what ever you want.” That's the time you say, “I want kṛṣṇa-prem, or I want eternal devotion, I want...” Many people, they ask for many things. What does Śrīdhar say, “My desire is that, that brāhmaṇ who comes and cheats me, day after day, that He will do that life after life, eternally. That's what I ask of you.” That's how we understand who is a devotee, and of what quality they are. That's what he ask for, “Continue this.” [laughing]

So, when Nimaī Paṇḍit observes that, the devotees, they understand His pastimes. But, those whom He's come, and they've descended with Him, to enact these pastimes; to participate, to assist, to spread, extend to others. But, whom He's meant to deliver —they don't understand. And, to what degree? They're offending Him. And, what will be the results of offending the Supreme entity. So, now He's getting the actual opposite of... Clearly He descended for two reasons: One, to relish the bhakta-bhāv, culminating in rādhā-bhāv. But, on the other hand, bahirangha sange-kore nam-sankirtan (Śrīla Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj) —to liberate everyone, with the nam-sankirtan movement. It's not going that way.

In fact, they're offending Him. They think, He's an arrogant person who thinks He's better than them, and He's lost His mind. Sometimes, we know, He's laughing madly. Sometimes laughing for three hours, six hours non-stop. What would you think? [laughing] And, Mother Śacī, you know, she's, like, concerned about her son. And she thinks if she will put some... what is that?.. like, brāhmi-rasāyan. The Ayurvedic head tonic, to like, cool your brain down, bring you back to sanity. She tries a bottle, a pot, then thinks it's not working. He's still laughing wildly, madly.

Puts Him in a bathtub, like up to His neck, in the same liquid. He's splashing around, laughing madly. Śrīvās Ṭhākur of the Pañca-tattva comes to visit. And, she's going, “Śrīvās —Nimaī lost His mind.”And, he... what does he say to her, “I want a drop of what He's got. [laughing] Give me a drop of that Divine substance.” And, then He stops laughing. He said, “Śrīvās, if you thought I was crazy, then I would just leave the world. What's the point. But, that you understand, that gives me some hope.” So, the devotees know. But, the non-devotees, who He has come to liberate, they do not know. And, in Guru Mahārāj's words, “The patient is abusing the doctor.” The doctor's, like, trying to give the medicine, and the patient is refusing. And, abusing that very doctor who's come to rescue them.

So, He devises a strategy for this campaign, that, if I take sannyās —the custom is such, that everyone will have to show me regard. They'll have to respect me. And, we know, as Guru Mahārāj says, “When you accumulate —that'll means, you'll accumulate sukṛti— with the accumulation of sukṛti. You'll acquire the capacity for appreciation.” That's important to understand. The accumulation of sukṛti results in acquired capacity for appreciation. That's how you can appreciate Kṛṣṇa Consciousness. Because, it's beyond rational. So, He internally reaches this decision. Remember, His wife is 14.

This is still Vedic culture. She's 14. Viṣṇu Priya devī is 14 years old. And, His eldest brother Viśvarūp, he already took sannyās, and father's left the world. So, Mother Śacī, she's under the care of Him. So, He's taking care of His wife and His mother. So, to take sannyās means He'll have to leave them. And, I mean, this would be heartbreaking in a normal circumstance. But... what to say... We can't conceive the sort of love that Mother Śacī has for Nimaī. So, if you can understand how you... we think that we love people in this world, you know, our partners, or children, or parents, or whatever it might be.

If we amplify that, multiply that —ad infinitum, then what's... how much maternal love could Śacī-mātā have for Nimaī; Yaśodā for Kṛṣṇa. Just as Guru Mahārāj said, when we talk about, sevonmukhe hi jihvādau, svayam eva sphuraty adaḥ (Cc: Madhya-līlla, 17.136.3-4) —the current. Current... devotional current of the... the voltage of the devotional current of the kṛṣṇa-nām of Yaśodā when she take Kṛṣṇa's name. The voltage of the loving devotional current in the kṛṣṇa-nām of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇi. What is it like, when she takes Kṛṣṇa's name? What affect does that have upon Him? They're inseparable.

So, moth... how can... how... it's heartbreaking for the devotees. What the... the devotees, they can't imagine what this will do to Śacī-mātā and Viṣṇu Priya. It's killing them. Advaita Ācārya threatens suicide. And, —saying that— what he thinks, “If I try to do it in the day, the devotees will stop me. So, I'm just going to maintain my composure during the day; tonight I'll finish myself.” They're like that. So, He... Nimaī Paṇḍit, before He meets with Nityānanda Prabhu, only a few know what He's going to do. And, of course, Nityānanda knows these pastimes, but... That's where we... it's hard for us to conceive because, on the one hand, we know it's like a play. It's līlā, these are pastimes.

But, by the grace of the Goswāmīs, we're given some insight. So, we know, that Yoga-māyā, her... one of her functions is to create spiritual illusion, by which, this is all perceived to be real. And, that allows them to experience the greatest depths of emotionality. Because, we'll think, “Well, they must know, I mean, that there will be a happy ending.” No, even in this... look in our own experience. The Stanislavski Method... Those actors act... they go so deep into the part, they're lost in that character. That's the Stanislavski Method. You can so immersed in a character, that you've become that character. You believe it all to be happening.

If, that can be achieved by mundane actors, then, what to speak of the eternally liberated associates of the Lord, under the influence of Yoga-māyā. So, it's a level of intensity, and love, and affection, beyond what we can conceive. It's not a light thing. So, when... it's heartbreaking to Nityānanda, but when the devotees think of what it's going to do to Śacī-mātā and Viṣṇu Priya. They're... it... they can't digest that... it's just killing them. And, what we find, that... that night comes —which was two nights ago— and, devotees, they all come... and like, in the evening visit Nimaī Paṇḍit.

He garlands them. He knows He's going; Nityānanda, Gadādhar, one or two others, Śacī-mātā. But, those devotees do not know. But, it just so happens —maybe, perhaps through internal inspiration— kholā-vecā Śrīdhar, he comes. Mahāprabhu drank from his water pot after the first nām-saṅkīrtan, when He was utterly exhausted and thirsty. That broken, busted, patched, rusted, water pot, that's where He drank His water. And, they were, like, trying to keep it away from Him. And, He was, like, drinking that water as if it was the ultimate nectarean substance, because, it was the water from kholā-vecā Śrīdhar. So, he comes and brings this lāu, you know, gourd: pumpkin-like-gourd.

And, Nimaī Paṇḍit saying, “How can I not honor this before I go?” Someone else came and brought some milk, and then he told Śacī-mātā, “Make something.” So, that's the last thing that He took before taking sannyās. And then, that night, for some time He entered yoga-nidrā. And Mother Śacī knowing that He's leaving, she placed herself in the doorway, just out of utter desperation. And then, at around 3 o'clock in the morning, He awoke. And, when He saw her, He bowed down before her, “This body belongs to you mother.” And...

But, to assuage her heartbreak, He saying, “You are my mother eternally. In rām-līlā you are my mother. In every kind of līlā imaginable, you're always my mother. In kṛṣṇa-līlā you're Yaśodā. In all these other Avatārs —that is you. You're always my mother, eternally and forever.” Still, it's unbearable, heartbreak for her —and He leaves. We know, He swims across the Gaṅgā and goes to Katwa to the āśram —Keśava Bhāratī Mahārāj's— and, approaches him for sannyās. And, He's saying that, “You can give me kṛṣṇa-bhakti. That's what I've come for. I want devotion to Kṛṣṇa, you can give that.” And, Keśava Bhāratī's thinking, “This is kind of absurd... But...” And, he's hesitant. We're told in the Bhāgavatam, with regard to Viṣṇu Priya,

tyaktvā su-dustyaja-surepsita-rājya-lakṣmīṁ
dharmiṣṭha ārya-vacasā yad agād araṇyam
māyā-mṛgaṁ dayitayepsitam anvadhāvad
vande mahā-puruṣa te caraṇāravindam
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam: 11.5.34)

This verse is interesting in the Bhāgavatam, because it's equally applicable to Rāmacandra and Mahāprabhu, the vande mahā-puruṣa te caraṇāravindam (SB: 11.5.34.4). When applied to Rāmacandra, it's saying, “He gave up the imperial throne and together with Sītā and Lakṣmaṇ, they were exiled to the forrest.” And, māyā-mṛgaṁ —the Māyā took the form of a deer and deceived Sītā. It's telling the rām-līlā in that way. Viśvanāth Cakravartī Ṭhākur applies to Mahāprabhu, saying, tyaktvā su-dustyaja-surepsita-rājya-lakṣmīṁ (SB: 11.5.34.1). Rājya-lakṣmīṁ means here, Viṣṇu Priya. He's saying, “He gave up the imperial throne of the love that's in her heart.” That's what the imperial throne is —there. The love and the heart of Viṣṇu Priya, which, is inconceivable to us. That He had to forgo.

Why, māyā-mṛgaṁ dayitayepsitam anvadhāvad (SB: 11.5.34.3), to chase after those souls who are running after Māyā. We're running, we're deluded by māyā... we're running after Māyā's illusion. He's chasing after us to rescue us. To do that, He had to leave the imperial throne and enshrined in the heart of Viṣṇu Devī. So, He's there in Katwa and the word has spread. Sometimes, people begin to lament, who had offended Him. And, now we've driven Him out of Nadīyā, Navadwip, nadīyā-dhārā kore gaura- jaya re. Guru Mahārāj would sing that, [Goswāmī Mahārāj singing: nadīyā-dhārā kore gaura- jaya re].

They're saying, “Oh, the light of Navadwip, Nadīyā is gone, what have we done.” They're lamenting. See, already the transformation is occurring. And, when He comes... Keśava Bhāratī, it appears, as though, the sun is entering his āṣram. The effulgence of Mahāprabhu is so great. And then, he sees this beautiful 24 year old young man, and He want to take sannyās, and he's thinking, “This isn't good, this is not right.” Usually, in the Ved... dharmā, ārtha, kāma, mokṣā, you know, at a later stage. When life, the life cycle, gṛhastha is finished in the mid 50s or so, then sannyās. But, here at 24, and such a beautiful, extraordinarily, inconceivably, beautiful young man.

And, then people are threatening outside, they're going, “Bhāratī, if you give sannyās we're going destroy your āśram. Who do you think you are?” And, we're told, there're some ladies going, “Who invented this sannyās anyway? Where does this come from? Who came up with this idea? That a man, he should leave his mother and family, what... this is crazy. Where does... who started this?” They're all... and the crowd growing... and Keś... he's thinking how to get out of this. And, he thinks, “Then, you have to go home and get your mother's permission.” I mean, it's India after all. [chuckling] What was I saying? Then, He starts running and then Keśava Bhāratī saying, like, “He's so charming, He's so beautiful, of course, He will convince... tell Him to come back. Of course, He'll get permission. Who could refuse Him anything?”

And, they bring Him back. Then, it's time for the barber. And, that's the part where the devotees... they... He's so beautiful with his hair. You know, His hair's long and it's perfumed, oiled, like, very nice —and this they can't tolerate. And, His face is so beautiful, moon-like face, lotus eyes, curling hair, it's just... they can't... And, the barber, he's hesitating; no one wants to do this. They're trying to delay, find excuses to delay this. Nityānanda can't tolerate it. No one wants this. And, somehow the day drags on and on and on, then it's arranged that they will, the barber will shave His hair.

And, then... and, Guru Mahārāj has recorded this in his Premadhāma-deva-stotram, the lakṣa-lakṣa-koṭi... Tears from the eyes of million. They're all crying and wailing to see the hair falling away from the beautiful moon-like face... of Nitāi... Nimaī Paṇḍit. And, that barber, He swears... he'll... he says, “I will never shave another head. How could I?” And Guru Mahārāj said, “He later took the occupation of a sweet maker.” And, it was said, his sweets had some extraordinary sweetness to them. Having touched sweetness personified, the cintāmaṇi touch of sweetness personified, when he made sweets, they had extraordinary quality and characteristic.

Then he's... who was it?.. Candraśekhara Ācārya was assigned as His, like surrogate to do the rituals of sannyās. He didn't do anything. Candraśekhar did everything, as a proxy. And, we're told repeatedly, when they tried to to the ceremony repeatedly, He will get up and start madly taking kṛṣṇa-nām. Then, Keśava Bhāratī starts chanting, they have a kīrtan, then they, like, try to calm down and go on with the ceremony. And, it starts again and again. And, then the time comes for the mantraṁ.

And, right before Keśava Bhāratī is going to say the sannyā mantraṁ to Him, Nimaī Paṇḍit said, “A sādhu came to me in a dream, and, whispered this... mind mantraṁ. It this the mantra?” And... which we know, is generally taken to be, 'tat tvam asi.' It's the māyāvādi... where they're saying, you know, “You are... 'thou art that', you are that Brahmā, that ultimate substance.” That's how they take it. But, when Nimaī Paṇḍit says this to Keśava Bhāratī, He's in essence, initiating him with... he's giving the real actual meaning, “I am His, I belong to Him.” That's another meaning, it's gopī-bhāv. Or, if we take even higher, “You are mine” —is the type of gopī-bhāv of Rādhārāṇī and Her associates.

So, Keśava Bhāratī says, like... now, he's initiated by Nimaī Paṇḍit, and saying, “Yes, that is the mantra.” [chuckles] You know... Then, He vibrates the mantraṁ, and He said... And, he's thinking, “What name shall be given to Him?” And, there's a system for giving names —108. Śaṅkarācārya picked 10 and used those out of the 108 for his line. We generally use all 108. But he... and there's some system, which kind will be given, in which combination. And, he's thinking, “But, none of that applies to you.” And, he's saying, “Because, the world is forgetful of Kṛṣṇa Consciousness. And, you have descended to distributed Kṛṣṇa Consciousness to everyone.

That means Kṛṣṇa Chaitanya. You have descended, you are Kṛṣṇa Chaitanya, you are Kṛṣṇa Consciousness personified. And your distributing Kṛṣṇa Consciousness to everyone. So, your name must be Śrī Kṛṣṇa Chaitanya.” [laughing] And, everyone, “Jaya, Śrī Kṛṣṇa Chaitanya kī jaya!” And who was it?.. Śrīnivāsa Ācārya's father was there at the time. And, when he heard this 'Chaitanya,' he became half mad. And, wandered around going, “Chaitanya, Chaitanya, Chaitanya!” And, when he went to his village, and everyone will say, “What happened in Katwa?” “Chaitanya, Chaitanya, Chaitanya!” Is all he could say.

So, it, as if it goes without saying, he became known —whatever his former name was, he became known as Chaitanya Dās. [laughing] So, then Nimaī Paṇḍit, He jumps up and He's saying,

kāhāṅ mora prāṇa-nātha muralī-vadana
kāhāṅ karoṅ kāhāṅ pāṅ vrajendra-nandana
(Śrī Chaitanya-caritāmṛta: Madhya-līlā, 2.15)

Search for Śrī Kṛṣṇa, —reality the beautiful, immediately. That's... He's searching for... how,

etāṁ sa āsthāya parātma-niṣṭhām
adhyāsitāṁ pūrvatamair mahadbhiḥ
ahaṁ tariṣyāmi duranta-pāraṁ
tamo mukundāṅghri-niṣevayaiva
(Śrī Chaitanya-caritāmṛta: Madhya-līlā, 3.6)

It was Kṛṣṇa to... would have... told this... I mean this story... the Avantī Brāhmaṇ. This verse is invoked at the time of sannyās, when he's saying, “I will cross over the ocean of nescience. How? By following all those sannyāsīs before me.” And, what did they do? tamo mukundāṅghri-niṣevayaiva (Cc: Madhya-līlā, 3.6.4), mukunda-sevā, kṛṣṇa-sevā, serving the lotus feet. That's how. In that way, it can be... it is achieved through sevā, not through, so-called renunciation, vairāgya, this... that. What is it?.. nirbandhaḥ kṛṣṇa-sambandhe yuktaṁ vairāgyam ucyate (Brs: 1.2.255.2) of Rūpa Goswāmī. Through service, through sevā —tamo mukundāṅghri-niṣevayaiva (Cc: Madhya-līlā, 3.6.4).

With that verse, and He's going, and with Nityānanda Prabhu and others. And, He's immediately heading toward Vṛndāvan, that's His goal. Search for Śrī Kṛṣṇa, go to Vṛndāvan. As we were just saying earlier, Prabupād liked this verse... well, he liked the whole thing. But, particularly, last verse of Sad-Gosvami-Astakam; he rādhe vraja-devīke ca lalite he nanda-sūno kutaḥ (Sri Sri Sad-Gosvami-Astakam: 8.1). They're saying, “Where is the son of Nanda? Is He on the bank... kālindī-yamunā, on the banks of the Yamunā? Or is He with the vraja... Where is He? Saying, that is the essences of Kṛṣṇa Consciousness —the search for Śrī Kṛṣṇa. In the search is value. They never say, “Oh, now I've got. Now we've captured the Infinite.”

Sometime, momentarily... Sometimes the higher devotees, you know, Advaita will see that in a few days —when he's got Him in Śāntipur. He can say that. “Now, I've got you. [laughing] You've tried to deceive me and hide, and I've got you.” Momentarily, but generally, always in the search, the search for Śrī Kṛṣṇa; kṛṣṇa-anusandhān. When we published Search for Śrī Kṛṣṇa, Śrīla Guru Mahārāj's, we're so often invoking, and saying, you know, brahma-jijṅāsā; athāto brahma-jijṅāsā (Vedānta-sūtra 1.1.1) —it's Vedānta. That, now is the time to inquire about, you know, Brahmā. What did Guru Mahārāj say?, “Brahma-jijṅāsā —that is a dry thing.” Means general spiritual inquiry. What is the time now? Kṛṣṇa-anusandhāna, rāsa-jijṅāsā, inquire about that.

The heart's inner necessity personified as Kṛṣṇa, rasa-rāja’, ‘mahābhāva’ — dui eka rūpa (Cc: Madhya-līlā, 8.282.2). Rādhārāṇī and Kṛṣṇa, rasa-rāj —Kṛṣṇa, mahābhāv —Rādhārāṇī, combined as one, in Mahāprabhu. … kandarpa-koṭi-kamanīya-viśeṣa-śobhaṁ (Bs: 5.30.3), 10 million cupids personified as one, points in the direction of the seductive charm, beauty, and sweetness of Kṛṣṇa. So, he's saying, “What, He's reality the beautiful, ecstasy personified.” What could be more beautiful than that. If you took Rādhārāṇī... Here's Kṛṣṇa... one thing... Rādhārāṇī —the inconceivable beauty of Rādhārāṇī, is such, that She... Kṛṣṇa's irresistibly drawn in an attraction to Her. What would happen if you combined them as one? Then, that's inconceivable of inconceivable things, and inconceivable beauty.

So, Guru Mahārāj would... Brahmā's saying, kandarpa-koṭi-kamanīya-viśeṣa-śobhaṁ (Bs: 5.30.3), 10 million cupids personified, hint at the beauty of Kṛṣṇa. What is Guru Mahārāj saying, and Rūpa Goswāmī as well, says... what is it?..

rasoddāmā kāmārbuda-madhura-dhāmojjvala-tanur
yatīnām uttaḿsas taraṇikara-vidyoti-vasanaḥ
hiraṇyāṇāḿ lakṣmī-bharam abhibhavann āńgika-rucā
sa caitanyaḥ kiḿ me punar api dṛśor yāsyati padam
(Śrī Stava Mala: Volume 1 Prathama Caitanyastaka.4)

What is the beauty of the sweetness of the form of Mahāprabhu? Ten million cupids in full bloom cupidity. That sort of sweet, dazzling, you know... like... beautiful, molten-gold Gaurāṅga. But, what does Guru Mahārāj say, “koṭi-kāma-mūrchitāṅghri-rūpa-rāsa-raṅgaraṁ, prema-dhāma-devam eva naumi gaura-sundaram (Pds: 2.3-4), svarṇa-koṭi-darpaṇābha-deha-varṇa-gauravaṁ ((Pds: 2.1) —10 million brilliant mirrors of shining gold.” Sometimes, he said, like, “When His hair stands on end it's like the Kadamba flower.” That's when, in a nice way... Other times like thorns, when the ecstasy goes in another direction.

Imagine, that —hairs that become like thorns. [svisht] Other direction, like Kadamba flowers with saffron pollenate... you know... sprinkled all over. But, he's saying, svarṇa-koṭi-darpaṇābha-deha-varṇa-gauravaṁ, padma-pārijāta-gandha-vanditāṅga-saurabham, koṭi-kāma-mūrchitāṅghri-rūpa-rāsa-raṅgaraṁ (Pds: 2.1-3), means 10 million cupids will faint to see the beauty of Gaurāṇga-Mahāprabu. That's another way of thinking, that 10 million cupids fainting. How beautiful is that? And, that Mahāprabhu, He's searching for Kṛṣṇa, running madly. And, Guru Mahāraj said, “In almost like a child-like state of Divine ecstasy.” And, the devotees are following Him, but there's no... He's not going in the right direction.

Instead of going towards the West, He's going towards the East, He's going North, South. He's going all over, and it's as if, the love and affection of the devotees in Navadwip, is pulling that, He can't escape that. So, He's circling. The pull of their hearts is so great upon Him, He can't break it. So, it's... He's circling. Until, at last, remember, He's in this divine madness state, and Nityānanda, they find Him. Sometimes, they're separated from Him. They can only find Him by this piteous wailing. He's crying for His beloved Kṛṣṇa. So, Nityānanda tells some cowherd boys, “If this sannyāsī comes by, and He ask you where the Yamunā is, point in this direction.” And, at one point, Mahāprabhu, He's, you know, He's singing, dancing, but He's becoming a little disappointed, thinking, “I don't hear any kṛṣṇa-nām, here in this part of the world, in this part of the country, what's the matter?”

And, then He sees the cowherd boys. And, they're going, like, “Haribol, Haribol!” And, He thinks, “Ahhhh, Vṛndāvan!” Because, they're dressed like cowherd boys and they're saying Hairbol. He make that conclusion. “I've... where is Yamunā?” And, the go, “This way.” And, He baths in the Yamunā, which is the western side of the Gaṇgā. And, He's so happy, cid-ānanda-bhānoḥ sadā nanda-sūnoḥ (Cc: Madhya-līlā, 3.28.1). He's praising Yamunā... prema... what is it?.. ...brahma-gātrī (Cc: Madhya-līlā, 3.28.2)... prema —river of prem. And, then He sees, there's Nityānanda, there's Advaita Ācārya, waiting on the shore with clean... His cloth is all wet.

And, he's waiting there with clean sannyās cloth. And, Mahāprabhu says to him, “Advaita, how did you know I was in Vṛndāvan?” And, Advaita said, “Chahahaha, you're kidding? Wherever you are —that is Vṛndāvan. Wherever you go, it's... you know... you're that person. Wherever you are is Vṛndāvan. How did I know you were in Vṛndāvan. What kind of a question is that?” And, then He's coming out of His trance, realize, “Oh, I've been duped by Nityānanda. Haaa... I'm prey to tricks of Nityānanda.” He said, “Well, Nityānanda didn't actually lie, because it's the Gaṇgā, and western side is considered Yamunā, so, technically it's not a lie.” But, anyway [laughing] you come to my house in Śāntipur.”

And, that's when the devotees get some relief. They send Nityānanda to Mother Śacī, who hasn't eaten or moved for days. She told the devotees, “You're the natural inheritors of everything He has, you take everything.” And, it was heartbreak for them, to see her like that, and Viṣṇu Priya. But then we're told, Nityānanda comes and tells Mother Śacī, “We're all going to meet in Śāntipur, at the house of Advaita. And, your beloved Nimaī, who's now Śrī Kṛṣṇa Chaitanya Mahāprabhu, He will be there and you'll get to see Him and cook for Him, and” Then Mother Śacī cooks for Nityānanda and all the devotees. She makes a big feast. Feeds Nityānanda, all the devotees, and then she takes a little prasādam, then they're all happy. Now, everyone's happy again. They're going to Śāntipur.

So, Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur... And we hear, when He does go there —as He goes to other places... When the words spreads that Mahāprabhu will appear, hundreds of thousands, if not millions, run in that direction. And, we're told also, that the gods and goddesses, of the higher planets, they descend into this world and blend in, in human forms. Because, they want to see Him also. So, it becomes, like, millions. And, they're going, “Where did all these people come from?” Some of them have descended from the higher planetary systems. So, they're madly going. When they go to the river, there's the river man with the boat. They get on the boat, the boats are sinking. Wherever the boats sinks, by Mahāprabhu's grace, it... there's a sandbar beneath.

In other cases, they take big pots, turn them upside-down, and cross the river in that way. Sometimes, there's so many people going across the river, that it's like, a biblical parting, nobody can drown. Just so many people go, nobody can drown, they just keep going. The water's parting. [laughing] And, when they see Him, they're climbing trees. And, suddenly twigs, on trees, can support human bodies. Mystical things are... and, everyone just wants to have a glimpse of the beauty of Mahāprabhu. They'll ask Him to come out, like in the case of Vidyā-vācaspati. He'll come out, like, on the rooftop and wave His arms, and everyone starts chanting. “Haribol, Haribol, Haribol, Haribol.” And, they have some kīrtan and everyone's happy drinking the beauty of Mahāprabhu with their eyes.

But, it's at that time, that Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur, in his song, he's taking himself as one of the inhabitants of Vidyānagar. Who's seen Mahāprabhu on that rooftop. And, he's saying, as someone from Śrīvās-aṅgan, saying, “When will Nimaī Paṇḍit give up the robes of renunciation and join us again in our happy kīrtans in Śrīvās-aṅgan. When will that day come.” And, Guru Mahārāj is pointing out, “This parallels Rādhārāṇī and vraja-gopīs saying, 'When will Kṛṣṇa give up this kingly dress, the Mahārāj dress out of Dwārakā. He's a Mahārāj there. He'll give up the Mahārāj dress and come and join with us in our rāsa-līlā back in Vṛndāvan, on the banks of the Yamunā.'”

So, Guru Mahārāj has identified —This is the same sentiment. Bhakitvinod saying, “When will he give up this Mahārāj dress and come and join us again in Śrīvās-aṅgan.” So, sometimes Guru Mahārāj would say, as the entrance,

yathā yathā gaura-padāravinde
vindeta bhaktiṁ kṛta-puṇya-rāśiḥ
tathā tathotsarpati hṛdy akasmāt
rādhā-padāmbhoja-sudhāṁbu-rāśiḥ
(Chaitanya-chandrāmṛta: 88)

Prabodhānanda saying, “Give your full attention to the lotus feet of Gaurāṇga-Mahāprabhu.” Those who are sukṛtivān, sumedhasaḥ; yajanti hi su-medhasaḥ (SB: 11.5.32.4), refine theistic intellect. They will understand that, by giving everything, focusing exclusively on the lotus feet of Mahāprabhu in gaurā-līlā. They will enter kṛṣṇa-līlā, rādhā-padāmbhoja-sudhāṁbu-rāśiḥ (Ccd: 88), and subconsciously, automatically deep from within the hearts core, the rādhā-rāsa-sudhā-nidhi will begin to flow. In other words, they will spring out of the soil of Vṛndāvan engaged in rādhā-dāsyam. So... why did I say this?.. Because... Oh, Guru Mahārāj saying...

So, as gaurā-līlā is the entrance to kṛṣṇa-līlā, as every atom of Navadwip is capable of giving Vṛndāvan in full, so, also, the nām-saṅkīrtan of Mahāprabhu... Gaurā-līlā is magnanimous distribution of kṛṣṇa-līlā. Navadwip is distributing Vṛndāvan. The nām-saṅkīrtan is the rāsa-līlā in distribution mode. How inconceivable is that?

(yadi) gaura nā hoito, tabe ki hoito,
kemane dharita de?
rādhāra mahimā, prema-rasa-sīmā,
jagate jānāta ke
(Yadi Gaura Nā Hoito: Vasudev Ghosh, 1)

Why did Kṛṣṇa come to... bahirangha sange-kore nam-sankirtan (Śrīla Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj), with His... general... His associates... generally to nām-saṅkīrtan, distributing krṣṇa-prem, giving other entrance. But, what is His internal thing, antarangha sange-kore rasa-asvadan (Śrīla Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj), to taste rāsa. Who is rāsa? Not just, what is rāsa. Whom? Rāsa-rāj is Kṛṣṇa. So, as Guru Mahāraj says, “Sweetness is tasting itself.” Because, you see, everyone is mad after sweetness, and sees the effects that sweetness has upon people. He thinks, “I want to experience the same.” So, sweetness tasting itself, and becoming mad, as an outcome, expressed in ecstatic dance and song. So, it's said, “The cause is the effect —the effect is the cause.” ātma-siddha-sāvalīla-pūrṇa-saukhya-lakṣaṇaṁ (Pds: 66.1), the ultimate conception of the ultimate reality is, He's singing and dancing. Why? On the account... if, He... Īśopaniṣads say,

oṁ pūrṇam adaḥ pūrṇam idaṁ
pūrṇāt pūrṇam udacyate
pūrṇasya pūrṇam ādāya
pūrṇam evāvaśiṣyate
(Īśopaniṣad: Invocation)

So, it... pūrṇa, just doesn't mean 'full,' like, you know, a glass is full. It also means; complete, fulfilled, utterly fulfilled, totally fulfilled. That is the position of ecstasy personified. But, in this case, the Supreme-positive is taking the position of the Supreme-negative. To relish... Kṛṣṇa relishing His own name. Only, from the position of a devotee —can. As Kṛṣṇa —not. But, as a devotee —and not only devotee— we're back to the voltage of the kṛṣṇa-nām of Rādhārāṇī. With rādhā-bhāv, how tasteful is Kṛṣṇa. He's experiencing that. And, that is making Him so happy and fulfilled. Like, in the true sense of the word —ecstatic— means beyond yourself.

He's besides Himself, beyond Himself. The end result is it's expressed in ecstatic dance and singing of kṛṣṇa-nām, which is the nām-saṅkīrtan movement. So, we're supremely fortunate, that on this day, Mahāprabhu, He —despite the personal heartbreak involved, and it's something real and true. Mother Śacī, Viṣṇu Priya Devī, and all the devotees, that to say —rescue all the fallen souls. He did this. [clearing voice]

So, it's the gift of Mother Śacī, Viṣṇu Priya, Advaita Ācārya, Haridās Ṭhākur, all the great devotees. So, the... when I asked Guru Mahāraj once, I said, “So, which shall we consider?,,” We see the depths of rāḍhā-bhāv plunged in the pastimes in Purī. Particularly in the Gambhīrā, behind closed doors with Svarūp Dāmodar and Rāmānanda. So, then I thought, “But, then... what about Navadwip. Which would be considered, you know, higher?” And, I'll never forget. Guru Mahārāj said, “Stalwart followers of Mahāprabhu prefer Navadwip.” [laughing]

And, then I could understand. So, it... from one point of view, we'll say, “The depths of rādhā-bhāv are plunged behind closed doors in Purī.” But, all of this does not make the devotees happy. To see the beautiful locks of Nimaī shorn away, when He takes sannyās. The results of those ecstatic symptoms, it's giving some pain in their hearts. They only... they want these happy pastimes like they had in Navadwip. That's the 'good old days' for them. So, he said, “Stalwart followers of Mahāprabhu, they prefer Navadwip.” And, then the evidence of Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur given in that song, When Will He Join Us Again. So, all these thing have to be considered very carefully.

But, at the heart of the matter, is union in separation. As, Guru Mahārāj... “Necessity indicates separation.” This is his point. We have some particular necessity. Necessity, and it means, we don't have that thing. So, in that sense, we're separated. And, we know, hunger produces relish. When you're really hungry, then you really enjoy... that's when you enjoy eat... every morsel is just wonderful. Like the saying, 'hunger is the best spice.' It's that principle that's... and... and, thankfully, mercifully, this is something that's realistic for us to culture. For neophytes, to try and cultivate pastimes of union, is not realistic, it's inappropriate, and it's damaging.

Because, we can't see beyond our senses and mundane sensuality, at this point. So, we'll make the grave mistake of imposing mundane sensuality upon, the objective world, upon the super subjective sensuality of the aprākṛta-līlā of Kṛṣṇa. That's a grave mistake. But, we see the highest, the greatest depths of kṛṣṇa-prem are mined from the position of separation, bāhye viṣa-jvālā haya, bhitare ānanda-maya, kṛṣṇa-premāra adbhuta carita (Cc: Madhya-līlā, 2.50.3-4). And, this is a subject matter of Chaitanya-charitāmṛtam. As, Gurudev said, “What is Mahāprabu's tasting matter?” It's tasting what you feel in separation.

It's achieved the deeper region of heart. Therefore, a deeper type of love and more tasteful. A deeper sort of relish. And, that is... this is supreme mercy, in that. That's the position that is realistic for us. Because, if one thing we know, we are separated from Kṛṣṇa. So, that's the only legitimate sort of culture for us. But, it happens to yield the very highest things. So, how fortunate we are. And, Mahāprabhu has come demonstrating this, in His pastimes. Hare Kṛṣṇa. [clapping hands] Śrī Kṛṣṇa Chaitanya Mahāprabhu's sannyāsa-līlā smaraṇam ki! jay!

Devotees: jay!

Goswāmī Mahārāj: Hare Kṛṣṇa. And, that's why the devotees don't like to see that... they... so, we worship Mahāprabhu, not with a shaved head. But, looking like Nimaī Paṇḍit. [laughing]
Brs: Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu
Cc: Śrī Chaitanya-charitāmṛta
Ccd: Chaitanya-chandrāmṛta
Pds: Śrī Śrī Premadhāma-deva-stotram
SB: Śrīmad Bhāgavatam